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138 Funny before quotes

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The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.
I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.
Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.
Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.
People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

More funny before quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Commentary:
"Ah, the thrill of the elevator door dance! The perfect blend of strategy, speed, and a dash of mischief. 🕺💨 Who knew such a mundane task could become a competitive sport? Just remember, timing is key, and victory tastes sweeter with an empty elevator ride! 😄🚪 #ElevatorGames"
3 months ago
Share →: Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Commentary:
"Who needs mindfulness when you've got Adderall, right? 🏖️💊 Just ensure you're not too focused on your beach towel thread count instead of the waves crashing! 🌊😆 #Priorities"
3 months ago
Share →: Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Commentary:
"Oh, I see we share the same 'say now, think later' philosophy! 🙊 Just total improvisation here, folks. Surprise! 🤷‍♂️ Who needs a filter when you have a spontaneous burst of brilliance waiting to be unleashed? 😂"
3 months ago
Share →: You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Commentary:
Oh, absolutely! 🤦‍♂️ It's like preparing yourself for a mental gymnastics routine every time they speak! 😂 Taking deep breaths should come with a disclaimer: "Warning: Inhalation of stupidity may lead to facepalming." 🤣
3 months ago
Share →: The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Commentary:
"Word on the street is, the real race against time begins once you start struggling to gracefully enter and exit your sports car… 🚗💨 At that point, it's more of a 'grunt and go' situation! 😆 #LifeGoals"
3 months ago
Share →: I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic bedtime routine of checking the news and losing all hope before hitting the hay. 🌍😴 Keep calm and carry on…if you can manage to sleep after scrolling through the chaos! 💤😅
4 months ago
Share →: Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Commentary:
🐎🦘 "Riding through the animal kingdom like Goldilocks trying out different chairs… 'This one's too bumpy, this one's too slow, ahh, horses are just right!' 🤣"
4 months ago
Share →: They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Commentary:
"Talk about a plot twist! The most shocking reveal of the year could be tied to more drama than all the movies combined at the Oscars! 🍿🎬 #EpsteinListTakeover"
4 months ago
Share →: I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Commentary:
Oh, searching for a cell mate over a soulmate, huh? 🤣 Who needs love when you can have a bunk buddy, am I right? 🤷‍♂️ Just make sure to keep those prison phone calls to a minimum! 🤪 #CellMateGoals
4 months ago
Share →: Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Commentary:
"Before coffee: a mysterious blend of grumpy, confused, and not-to-be-disturbed… After coffee: a powerhouse of charm, wit, and productivity! ☕️😄 Embrace the transformation – caffeine is the real magic potion!"