Commentary:
Dreams: the only place where I'm a morning person and a billionaire! 😴💰👉🙅♂️
276 Funny before quotes
Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.
Commentary:
😂🔥 Adrenaline rush level 9000: Watching an ad while your popcorn catches fire! 🍿🚒
Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.
Commentary:
Testing sibling boundaries: the ultimate survival training! 😂🤼♂️🔪
Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.
Commentary:
Sounds like a hairy situation! I'm firmly in the procrastinate-until-someone-complains camp! ✂️🤣👨🦱
Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.
Commentary:
Here we go again with the same old crap 💩😂 deja vu more like deja poo!
People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.
Commentary:
When "never" turns into their new favorite hobby! 😂🤦♂️✨
The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.
Commentary:
That alarm sound is like a mini heart attack waiting to happen! 😂🔔⏰ Who needs coffee when you have an iPhone alarm?
I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.
Commentary:
Looks like even Google knows I'm dedicated to freestyle life choices 🤷♂️💻🤣
I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.
Commentary:
When ignorance was bliss and my biggest worry was accidentally stepping on a Lego! 🤯😂🦶✨
TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.
Commentary:
Gone so soon that TMZ already booked an interview with my ghost 👻📸😅