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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,684

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Just landed via Twitch:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Live now on WhatsApp:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Just landed via Threads:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Going viral on Reddit:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Making waves on Threads:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Just landed via Reddit:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

49 Funny belief quotes

Funny belief quotes will tickle your funny bone while making you ponder life’s quirks 😂. These witty gems remind us not to take ourselves too seriously as we navigate our beliefs and misconceptions 🤔. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up your day, they’re little bursts of humor that invite laughter and reflection 🌟. Dive into a world where wisdom meets whimsy and let your spirits soar with a smile! 😊

New funny belief quotes 👇

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

3 hours ago

around, attitude, baby, belief, believe, care, days, faith, God, here, humor, i, religion, spirituality, trending
Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

11 hours ago

belief, better, communication, delusion, expectations, humor, paragraph, relationships, someone, treat
Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

13 hours ago

afternoon, belief, believe, choice, choose, humor, irony, nap, naps, relaxation, sleep, us
I believe in annoyed at first sight.

19 hours ago

annoyed, belief, believe, first sight, humor, i, love, relationship, sight
I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

20 hours ago

belief, believe, compliance, driving, humor, i, irony, law, obey, rule, time, traffic, traffic law
I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

22 hours ago

belief, humor, miracle, observation, religion, skepticism, someone, water, wine
TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

1 day ago

belief, digging, expectation, grave, grave digging, humor, irony, misperception, TV
People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

1 day ago

always, ask, belief, believe, confidence, course, faith, God, humor, i, important, irony, me, people, say, self-belief, spirituality
The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

2 days ago

belief, damage, done, engineer, humor, intelligence, intelligent, irony, society, software, software engineer
Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

2 days ago

after, afterlife, ancient, ancient Egypt, belief, burial, buried, chest, egypt, fun, hands, humor, life, Pharaoh, slide, water, water slide

For even more funny belief quotes, hit next 👇

All funny belief quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

37 shares on Threads this month:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

27 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

60 shares on Threads this month:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

31 shares on Threads this month:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

47 shares on X this month:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email finds you in a well.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,570

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Just shared via Instagram:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Live now on Threads:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Trending via Discord:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Spotted on YouTube:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Live now on Pinterest:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Going bananas on Threads:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

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