People always ask me "Do you believe in God?" and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Commentary:
Absolutely! Who needs divine intervention when you've got self-confidence to the max? 🙌 Believe in yourself, and watch miracles happen (or at least some impressive self-improvement)! 🌟 #FaithInMeNotDeity

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Commentary:
"Ah, the fabled creatures known as software engineers 🧙‍♂️ Uniquely intelligent or just really good at Googling error messages? 🤔 Their mystical powers have caused mischief indeed, turning everything into binary code and making the rest of us feel like mere mortals in the land of algorithms and bugs! 🤪👾 #WizardsOfTheDigitalRealm"

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Commentary:
"Looks like the Pharaohs were just trying to slide into the afterlife in style! 🌊😎 Who knew that crossing their hands was the ancient Egyptian version of getting ready for a day at the water park? 💦🎢 Just imagine, forever riding those infinite water slides… sounds like a pretty 'pharaohtastic' eternity! 😂"

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Commentary:
"Who needs scales or mirrors when you've got denial and self-deception on your side? 🙈🤷‍♂️ #FakeItTillYouMakeIt"

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Commentary:
"Unraveling the mysteries of the universe, one flat theory at a time! 🌎🔵 Who knew a simple shape could cause such a stir among the Flat Earthers? Watch out, the sphere is coming to get ya! 😄 #RoundAndRoundWeGo"

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's in for a rollercoaster ride through time! 🕰️⏰ Get ready for unexpected plot twists and hilarious shenanigans in the blink of an eye! Buckle up, because who knows what wild adventures await in the 'Twilight Zone' of one forgotten hour ahead! ⏳😄 #TimeTravelAntics"

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Commentary:
🔮💸 "If you suspect someone's been dabbling in the dark arts, just swipe $500 my way and I'll wave my magic credit card to banish that spell! ✨💳 Who needs potions and incantations when you have the power of money, am I right? 😂💸"

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Commentary:
"Remember, I believe in you… just like I believe in Bigfoot! 🌲🦶 Don't let that mythic confidence boost go to your head now! 😄"

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Commentary:
Looks like there's a bit of magic and mischief in the air! 🧝‍♂️✨ Who knew believing in trolls and elves could come with a side of skepticism? Maybe he just needs more convincing spells and proof from the enchanted forest! 🌿😄 #MagicAndSkepticism

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Commentary:
"Are brains really just a head-scratcher? 🤔 Maybe it's all in our heads after all! 🧠😆"