32 Funny belief quotes

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  7 days ago

  View →: I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?
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  1 month ago

  View →: Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I believe in annoyed at first sight.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.
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  3 months ago

  View →: TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.
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  4 months ago

  View →: People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.
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  4 months ago

  View →: The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.
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  4 months ago

  View →: With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.
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  4 months ago

  View →: The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.
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  4 months ago

  View →: If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”
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  5 months ago

  View →: People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.
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  5 months ago

  View →: My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.
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  5 months ago

  View →: And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!
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  5 months ago

  View →: Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.
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  5 months ago

  View →: All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.
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  5 months ago

  View →: You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

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