49 funny belief quotes - Wordgag ツ

“There’s a reason religion tells you your reward is after death; it keeps you quiet while you’re being exploited alive.”

3 days ago3 days ago

Good morning to everyone who still believes what they see with their own two eyes.

3 days ago3 days ago

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

1 month ago1 month ago

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

1 month ago1 month ago

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

2 months ago

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

2 months ago

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

2 months ago

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

2 months ago

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

2 months ago

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

2 months ago

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

2 months ago

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

2 months ago

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

2 months ago

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

2 months ago

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

2 months ago

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

2 months ago

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

2 months ago

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

2 months ago

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

2 months ago

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

2 months ago

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

2 months ago

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

2 months ago

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

2 months ago

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

2 months ago

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

2 months ago

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

2 months ago

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

2 months ago

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

2 months ago

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

2 months ago

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

2 months ago

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

2 months ago

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

2 months ago

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

2 months ago

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

2 months ago

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

3 months ago

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

3 months ago

I’m going to hell in every religion.

3 months ago