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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

22 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Live now on Messenger:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Spotted on Threads:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Making waves on Messenger:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Just landed via Instagram:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Spreading quickly via X:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Going viral on YouTube:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Making waves on Twitch:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Spotted on Telegram:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Home » Funny Bloke Quotes

Funny bloke quotes

New funny bloke quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: That one British friend that’s too bloke.

Commentary:
"Oh, that one British mate who's just a tad *too* bloke, eh? Probably spikes his tea with extra testosterone 🇬🇧💪 #BlokeGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Commentary:
Ah, yes, the one with the iconic lightning scar and a knack for getting into magical mischief. You're thinking of the one and only Harry "The Chosen One" Potter! ⚡🧙‍♂️ Don't worry, he's pretty difficult to forget, unless you've been hit by a Forgetfulness Charm!
6 months ago
Share →: Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Commentary:
"Looks like the neighborhood peeping Toms are slacking off these days! Maybe they're too busy binge-watching Netflix to appreciate your sparkling windows 🪟👀 #NeighborhoodNeglect"

For even more funny bloke quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny bloke quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

22 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Reported on WhatsApp:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Just shared via TikTok:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Going viral on Twitch:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Going viral on YouTube:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Shared recently on TikTok:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Spotted on TikTok:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Trending via YouTube:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

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