Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,358

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Trending via Reddit:

Hair is unwashed, so I obviously feel like I’m fundamentally unlovable.

Going viral on YouTube:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Trending via Threads:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Spotted on Slack:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Making waves on TikTok:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Just shared via TikTok:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Funny bloke quotes

Funny bloke quotes bring a cheeky grin and a belly laugh to any day 😂👌 Whether you’re hanging out with mates or scrolling through your feed, these witty gems capture the charm, mischief, and classic banter that only a true bloke can deliver 🤣🔥 Get ready to brighten your mood and share some laughs with the funniest lines that celebrate bloke life! 🎉🍻

New funny bloke quotes 👇

All funny bloke quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on X this month:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

22 shares on Threads this month:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

11 shares on X this month:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,488

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Going viral on Reddit:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Just landed via WeChat:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Trending via Telegram:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Just shared via Instagram:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Live now on Telegram:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

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