Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

41 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,310

Funny Quotes Topics

17,437

Funny Quotes Images

15,310

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,478

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Making waves on Discord:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Spotted on Slack:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Shared recently on Slack:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Live now on Instagram:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Just shared via YouTube:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Funny borrowing quotes

Funny borrowing quotes bring a smile 😄 to the sometimes tricky world of lending and borrowing 💸. Whether it’s about that “borrowed” pen 🖊️ or an overdue book 📚, these witty sayings add a playful twist to everyday moments. Perfect for sharing with friends or breaking the ice, they remind us that borrowing doesn’t have to be awkward — it can be downright hilarious! 😂✨

New funny borrowing quotes 👇

All funny borrowing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on X this month:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

70 shares on TikTok this month:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

93 shares on X this month:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

52 shares on Slack this month:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is based on a true story.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

41 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,310

Funny Quotes Topics

17,437

Funny Quotes Images

15,310

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,438

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Just landed via YouTube:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Live now on Threads:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Trending via LinkedIn:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Trending via X:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

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