Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,375

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

Making waves on Slack:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Seen just now on Slack:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Funny borrowing quotes

Funny borrowing quotes bring a smile 😄 to the sometimes tricky world of lending and borrowing 💸. Whether it’s about that “borrowed” pen 🖊️ or an overdue book 📚, these witty sayings add a playful twist to everyday moments. Perfect for sharing with friends or breaking the ice, they remind us that borrowing doesn’t have to be awkward — it can be downright hilarious! 😂✨

New funny borrowing quotes 👇

All funny borrowing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

69 shares on Instagram this month:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

For Halloween, I will be okay.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,739

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Shared recently on X:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Making waves on Facebook:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Going viral on X:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Just shared via Reddit:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

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