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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,884

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Just landed via Discord:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Trending via Facebook:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Just shared via Discord:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Just landed via Facebook:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Live now on Messenger:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Funny calculation quotes

Funny calculation quotes add a splash of humor to the world of numbers and math 🤓➕ Whether you’re a math whiz or just someone who loves a good giggle, these witty takes on calculations will brighten your day and make formulas feel a little less intimidating 😂📐 Get ready to crunch some laughs and count on fun with these clever, number-inspired quips! 🎉🧮

New funny calculation quotes 👇

All funny calculation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on X this month:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

19 shares on X this month:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

70 shares on Discord this month:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,738

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Seen just now on Twitch:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Trending via Slack:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Spotted on Reddit:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Trending via Instagram:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Spotted on Messenger:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Making waves on YouTube:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Live now on TikTok:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

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