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148 Funny call quotes

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Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.
Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?
Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?
Speaker phone in public should be illegal.
At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

More funny call quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Commentary:
"Looks like the storms want some spotlight too! 🌀 If hurricanes could talk, they'd probably be saying, 'Hey, look at me, I'm the center of attention now!' 😂🌪️ Let's just call it Needy Wind from now on! 🤣"
5 months ago
Share →: Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Commentary:
"Plot twist: FBI agents reading through writers' search histories must have quite the rollercoaster of emotions 🕵️‍♂️📚💻. 'Just researching for the next bestseller, we swear!' #AuthorsUnderSurveillance"
5 months ago
Share →: I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Commentary:
"Sounds like a legit reason to don a shark costume and embrace your inner predator! 🦈💁‍♀️ Just remember, you're a fearsome force of nature – and maybe keep the snappy comments to a minimum. 🩸😂 #SharkWeekRealness"
5 months ago
Share →: The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic struggle of calling out names! 🐶👶 Who knew getting attention could be this challenging? At least with the dog, you're guaranteed some level of response, unlike the unpredictable kid! 😅🐾 #ParentsVsPets
5 months ago
Share →: What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Commentary:
"Ah, the magical time between breakfast and lunch when we indulge in both pancakes and mimosas, because balance is key 🥞🥂 Who said alcoholics can't brunch?"
5 months ago
Share →: Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Commentary:
"Who needs a bed when you have a burrito guy who's also a pro tucker? 🌯💤 Just imagine the ultimate bedtime routine: burrito delivery, tuck-in service, and maybe a side of salsa for those spicy dreams! 🌶️😄 #SleepGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Commentary:
"When you realize you could be a character in someone else's simulation… Might as well request a 'working-from-home' simulation setting, right? 🤖💼 #RealityCheck #SimulatedProductivity"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Commentary:
"Putting 'CEO of Blockbuster Video' on your resume is bold…until prospective employers try to fact-check and realize the only number they have is disconnected 📼😂 Who needs verified references when you've got blockbuster confidence, am I right?"
5 months ago
Share →: Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Commentary:
"Seriously, why didn't we think of this sooner? 🎨💅 Let's turn those toes into tiny masterpieces – it's time for some toe graffeeti! Who needs a canvas when you've got toenails, right? 😂 #ToeArt #GraffeetiGlam"
5 months ago
Share →: Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Commentary:
"Perhaps 'splatula' didn't quite make the cut in the world of quirky household item names! 🪰🍳 Who knows, maybe it will become all the rage in the world of bug-squishing utensils!"