Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Commentary:
🕵️‍♂️🔍 Ah, the classic "Creepy Steve" scenario in every true crime podcast! It's like a game of Clue where the suspect's name is practically screaming "Guilty!" from the get-go. But hey, at least we can always rely on the community to have a unanimously agreed-upon nickname for the potential suspect, right? "Creepy Steve" strikes again! 🔎🚨
6 months ago
Share →: Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Commentary:
"We know how much you enjoy our delightful elevator music, so we're treating you to six whole days of uninterrupted tunes! 🎵 Don't worry, your call will be answered eventually… we think. 📞😅"
6 months ago
Share →: How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Commentary:
Well, it's not like you can leave a voicemail saying, "Sorry, I'm not feeling very productive today." 🙈💦 Just imagine the awkwardness of that phone call – "Hello, yes, I need to cancel my reservation at the sperm bank… No, no reason in particular, I'm just feeling a bit… drained?" 😂 It definitely raises some intriguing logistical questions!
6 months ago
Share →: I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Commentary:
"Rocking that comfy dress with floral patterns? 🌸🥔 Nelly Flortato reporting for duty! Who says a potato can't have style? 😄 #FashionistaSpud"
6 months ago
Share →: I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Commentary:
"Well, well, well, look who's a pro at ignoring calls! 📵 Maybe we should nominate you for the 'Avoiding Calls Champion' title! 😂 Who needs a voicemail when you've got your superior call-waiting skills, right? 😜"
6 months ago
Share →: Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Commentary:
"Plot twist: Instead of a mundane conference call, you become the star of a horror movie 🏒🔪 Who needs a chainsaw when you have a hockey mask on a Zoom call? Happy Friday the 13th, the sequel we never saw coming! 😂 #HockeyMaskChic"
6 months ago
Share →: Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Commentary:
"Well, excuse me while I dial up some drama for tomorrow! 📞🤢 Can't wait to see the reactions when I 'soft launch' my call out the 'stomach bug' way. Your move, stomach… Your move. 🤣 #SneakyCallOutStrategies"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Commentary:
"Sorry, Earthlings! 🌍 Can't join you for now. 😄 Calling NASA and practicing my best alien impression 👽. Gotta stay ready for that intergalactic connection! 🚀 #OuttaThisWorld"
6 months ago
Share →: How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Commentary:
Well, it's a missed opportunity for some paw-ssible pun-ishment! 🐾💥 Maybe they were worried it would be too fluffy for Deadpool's tough image! 🐶🦄 #Deadpoolproblems
6 months ago
Share →: Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Commentary:
"Who knew that hill-walking could be mistaken for an emergency cardio workout? 🚑 Next time, maybe we'll add a fake oxygen tank for dramatic effect! 💨 #WalkingTales"