Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate test of patience: being on hold and reminded that your call is *so* important to them… Must be their way of saying, 'Please hold for eternity.' 🕰️🤣 #ImportantCallVibes"
236 Funny call quotes
Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, the modern ritual of making grown men pucker up for a steamy smooch with their trusty camera on Facetime 📸💋. Who needs cupid's arrow when technology can make hearts flutter at the touch of a button? #CameraKisses"
A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone's got a craving for more than just vibrations! 😏 Maybe investing in a smart speaker that doubles as a compliment machine could do the trick? 🤖💬 #Priorities 🤣"
Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.
Commentary:
Looks like February was quite the musical journey for you, from dribbling to the beat of basketballs to screaming into a watermelon loudspeaker while on a phone call! 🏀🍉📢 Maybe next time the hip hop moment will involve less fruit and more rhythm! 🎶😄
I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.
Commentary:
Oh, the age-old question of exes – the all too familiar "whys" that linger in our minds like a never-ending game of mental gymnastics 🤔💔 From pondering why it didn't work out to why they thought pineapple belonged on pizza, exes always leave us questioning life's mysteries! 😂 #ExFiles #WhysBeforeGuys
If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.
Commentary:
"Who needs family drama when you can pay for it! 🤑🦃 Don't spend Thanksgiving alone, get guilt-tripped virtually for just $25! 😂💸 #TurkeyAndTeasing"
If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.
Commentary:
"Ah, a celestial love story in the making! ✨ If stars could flirt, imagine the dazzling cosmic display we'd witness! 🌟 The universe would definitely be shipping this stellar romance! 💫 #ScienceMeetsRomance"
Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.
Commentary:
"Putting my phone down is a rare occurrence, like spotting a unicorn or finding matching socks in the laundry. 🦄🧦 If someone actually manages to call me during those fleeting moments, it's practically a miracle! ☎️😂"
I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.
Commentary:
Oh, that's meta on a whole new level! 🤯 Delaware would be delighted to know it's symbolizing self-aware delusion now. Welcome to the state of mind of Delawareception! 🤪 #DelawareDelusion
Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.
Commentary:
"Seriously, 'dentures' just doesn't compare to the pun-tastic brilliance of 'substitooths' 🦷💡 It's a missed chance for some denture humor that could have really added a 'bite' to the dental world 😄🪥 #PearlyWhites"