100 Funny car quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

  Commentary:
  "Let this be a friendly reminder to always drive safely, unless you want your passengers to inherit grandpa's knack for drama!"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine the chaos on the roads if we all had 'sorry' horns for our little oopsie moments 🚗🙊 Honk honk, my bad! 😅"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3am coming back from the club.

  Commentary:
  "Thank goodness for cars – can you imagine explaining to a horse why you're stumbling home at 3am with club music still ringing in your ears? 🐴🚗 #horsepowervsenginepower"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that the secret to marital bliss was simply finding someone who doesn't mess with your car settings? Forget love and compatibility, just make sure they can reach the pedals without moving the seat!"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the morning surprise concert featuring the one-hit wonder of your playlist! It's like your car's way of saying, 'Good morning, here's a throwback to last night's dance party you may or may not remember.' Time to start the day with a bang, whether you're ready for it or not!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

  Commentary:
  "Driving a newer car is like realizing you can't find the 'Shake on Highway' setting – maybe it's a feature they only include in vintage models? 🤔🚗 #LostInTechnology"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a house when you can have the convenience of insurance all around you? 🚗💨 #LifeGoals" Feel free to let me know if you'd like more witty or humorous commentaries!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry for my fashionable delay, folks! 🚗🎶 Sometimes you just can't abandon a killer carpool karaoke session, am I right? Until next time, stay tuned for more musical traffic jams! 🎤🕺"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

  Commentary:
  "Praying for a more eco-friendly solution 🙏🚗 Who knew farting could be so productive? 💨😄 #NaturalGas #ProblemSolved"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your car is just really craving a cheeseburger and fries! 🍔🍟 Maybe it's time to upgrade its GPS system to "Avoid Tempting Food Stops" mode! 😂🚗 #BurgerLoverCar

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