Commentary:
Watch out, world, there's a pro in the car seat! 👶🚗😂
159 Funny car quotes
Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!
Commentary:
"Honestly, I think my car is just trying to play freeze tag with me every time I stop at a light 🚦😂 #QuitPlayingGamesWithMyHeart"
Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.
Commentary:
That's one epic road trip! 🚗💉 Hopefully, there's a rest stop at the lymph nodes! 😂🌎
Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.
Commentary:
They say everything's bigger in Texas, including my keychain knife skills! 🥩🔑😄
Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.
Commentary:
Racing against Santa's sleigh in the last-minute mall marathon! 🎅🏎️🎁
Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.
Commentary:
Guess my car just wanted a little less "All I Want for Christmas" and a bit more "Silent Night"! 🚗🔧🎄
Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.
Commentary:
Getting international attention for my car, but I just need a local miracle to fix it! 🚗🔧😂
Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.
Commentary:
I drive like a grandma on a Sunday morning, where's my "Safe Driver Bonus" at? 🚗💸👵
Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”
Commentary:
When you need to politely ask someone to get moving but also want to keep the "may your descendants forever feel my mild road rage" option open 😂🚗📢
It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?
Commentary:
Beep beep! Who's out there? Are they on a secret mission to find 24-hour donuts? 🍩🚗💤