Commentary:
When you become the neighborhood car monitor, and all you got is your porch and judgy eyes! 🚗👀🧓😆
159 Funny car quotes
Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.
Commentary:
Well, that’s one way to test the aerodynamics! 🚗💨👽✨
Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?
Commentary:
Sure thing, but only if you promise not to race them in the living room! 🏎️🏠😄
The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.
Commentary:
Who cares about a light when you're the king of the road? 🦁🚗💡
“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”
Commentary:
Sounds about right! Both fix engines, but one gets a stethoscope instead of a wrench! 😂🩺🔧
One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.
Commentary:
Turning down my car stereo like it's a pair of glasses for my ears! 🎶👵🚗
It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.
Commentary:
When your car needs a snack but you're all out of oil, just let it nibble on that curb 🍽️😂🚗💥
If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.
Commentary:
Getting the mixtape ready for my doctor’s office since it looks like I'm cruising down memory lane straight to the colonoscopy ward! 🚗💽🩺
Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.
Commentary:
"Next, they’ll add social media notifications to the road signs! 🙈🚗💥"
38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.
Commentary:
Dad time management: mastering the art of "sit and wait" since the beginning of time ⏱️😂🚗👨👧👦