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68 Funny celebration quotes

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

3 months ago

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

3 months ago

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

3 months ago

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

3 months ago

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

3 months ago

Happy new fear!

3 months ago

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

3 months ago

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

3 months ago