53 Funny children quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Alexa, mute my children.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry, Alexa doesn't offer a 'hush mode' for youngsters…yet! 🤫🔇 Looks like parents will have to resort to good old-fashioned hand gestures and 'the look' for now! 😉🙊"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

  Commentary:
  "Sure, Apple Music may have better sound quality, but have you ever tried separating a parent from their children? 🍎🔊 vs. 🎧🎶 #PlaylistProblems"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

  Commentary:
  Ah, to kids, a neatly hanging dish towel is like a siren's call for mischief! 🧒👀🚫 Just one glance and it's instant chaos – let the towel shenanigans begin! 🤪🤣 #KidsWillBeKids

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

  Commentary:
  "Planning for children? Make it a short and sweet affair – two days max! 😂👶 #ParentingGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

  Commentary:
  "Christmas: the season of expanding waistlines and expanding fibs to the little ones! 🎅🍪🤥🎄 Who says you can't indulge in both delicious treats and creative storytelling at the same time? It's all in the holiday spirit! 😉"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

  Commentary:
  "Well, let's hope the candidate's policies are more forward-thinking than their campaign strategy! 🤣 Looks like we'll be taking some slow and steady steps into the future, with a few playful detours along the way. 🐢🛑 #ElectionDayAdventures"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the circle of generational blame continues! 🔄 Let's blame Covid for all our questionable decisions in the future, just like we blame lead for the Boomers' quirky ways. It seems fate has a sense of humor! 😆 #GenerationalBlameGame

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the dilemma of choosing between innocent chatter or the unpredictable chaos! It's like deciding between sticky lollipops and sour lemons 🍭🍋 – pick your poison wisely, folks! Let's hope we can all agree that both topics are best left unsweetened 😜!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, hugging your children not only warms their hearts but also saves your fragile possessions! 🤗🧸 Just make sure they don't turn your favorite vase into a soccer ball later on! ⚽😜 #ParentingPriorities"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic parenting dilemma: dealing with the lovely assortment of other parents at school events and playdates. 👀👪 It's like a whole new level of social dynamics, complete with awkward conversations and questionable parenting advice. 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️ But hey, at least it's never a dull moment in the world of parenthood, right? 😅 #ParentingAdventures"

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