Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Commentary:
"Your honor, my client requests a brief recess to engage in a stimulating game of Candy Crush! 🍭⚖️ Let's admit it, even justice could use a little swipe and tap now and then. #PhoneDefenseWinning"

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question: Cake or Not Cake? 🎂🔪 Either way, it seems my client was driven by a dessert dilemma rather than a criminal intent, Your Honor! 😅 #CakeOrStab"

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Commentary:
Sounds like being a divorce lawyer is 75% playing "No" on repeat 🔄🚫. Who knew emails had a built-in reject button? 😂 #LawyerLife

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Commentary:
"Your honor, my client kindly requests to opt out of the exclusive 'Jail Experience' program. They prefer the deluxe 'Freedom Package' with a side of innocence 🕶️🔓😄"

When the client says: "make it pop", I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Commentary:
"When the client says 'make it pop', I'm never quite sure if they want the project to shine like a disco ball 🕺 or if they expect me to start breakdancing on the conference table 💃. Either way, I'm prepared to dazzle with my creativity – in more ways than one! 💥✨"