funny negotiation quotes - Wordgag

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

May 22, 2026

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

May 21, 2026

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

May 21, 2026

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

May 20, 2026

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

May 18, 2026

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Apr 1, 2026

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Mar 29, 2026

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Mar 28, 2026

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Mar 26, 2026