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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Seen just now on Discord:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Just shared via TikTok:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Going viral on Discord:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Trending via Instagram:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Trending via Instagram:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Breaking via Telegram:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Live now on Discord:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Live now on Threads:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Spotted on Messenger:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

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