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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

The peace of not knowing.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Going viral on Threads:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Freshly posted on Discord:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Just shared via Discord:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Live now on Twitch:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Seen just now on Facebook:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Just shared via Facebook:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Making waves on Facebook:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Funny congratulation quotes

Funny congratulation quotes are the perfect way to celebrate achievements with a splash of humor 🎉😂 Whether it’s a promotion, graduation, or just crushing life’s little wins, these witty lines add extra sparkle to your cheers ✨🥳 Ready to make someone smile and giggle while saying congrats? Let’s dive into some hilarious and heartwarming ways to celebrate success with a twist of fun! 🎈😄

New funny congratulation quotes 👇

All funny congratulation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

86 shares on X this month:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

33 shares on Slack this month:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Can I come over and figure you out?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,613

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Just shared via Telegram:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Seen just now on Threads:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Spotted on WeChat:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Freshly posted on X:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Breaking via Reddit:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Just landed via Telegram:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

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