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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has copied:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has viewed:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has downloaded:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

β€œSeize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

β€œAI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has shared:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,997

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Live now on Facebook:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Live now on Slack:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Just shared via YouTube:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Trending via Telegram:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Why is it spelled β€œcamouflage” and not β€œ β€œ?

Making waves on Instagram:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Going viral on Discord:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Trending via Snapchat:

Customers will say shit like, β€œUhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Just landed via Reddit:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Funny cursing quotes

Funny cursing quotes bring a cheeky twist to everyday frustrations 😜πŸ’₯, turning swear words into a hilarious art form! Whether you need a laugh after a tough day or want to spice up your captions with some sassy sass 🀭πŸ”₯, these witty and clever lines have got you covered. Get ready to giggle, snort, and maybe even blush a littleβ€”because a little naughty humor never hurt anyone! πŸ˜‚πŸ™ˆ

New funny cursing quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny cursing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Threads this month:

β€œThe average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

44 shares on Discord this month:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

81 shares on X this month:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, β€œThey can’t be serious.”

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,816

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has viewed:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has shared:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has viewed:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has viewed:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has bookmarked:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on X:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Making waves on TikTok:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

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