Funny quotes even

122 Funny even quotes

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

2 weeks ago

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

2 weeks ago

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

1 month ago

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

1 month ago

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

1 month ago

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

1 month ago

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

2 months ago

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

2 months ago

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

2 months ago

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

2 months ago

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

2 months ago

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

2 months ago

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

2 months ago

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

2 months ago

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

3 months ago

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

3 months ago

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

3 months ago

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

3 months ago

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

3 months ago

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

3 months ago

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

3 months ago

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

3 months ago

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

3 months ago

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

3 months ago

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

3 months ago

I would like even faster food.

3 months ago

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

3 months ago

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

3 months ago

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

3 months ago

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

3 months ago