Commentary:
I reject cookies as a diet plan, but my browser might be losing weight instead! 🍪❌😂
258 Funny even quotes
I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.
Commentary:
When life gives you concerts, turn heartbreak into a rock anthem! 🎸😂💔 In the end, enjoy the music! 🎶🙌
I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.
Commentary:
You know it's true love when they're genuinely laughing at your puns instead of giving you that "oh dear" look! 😂💔
I was into the moon before it was even full.
Commentary:
Talk about being a lunar hipster!
Study international relations and political science if you watch the news and think, I’d like this to make me even more depressed.
Commentary:
When you want your daily dose of news to come with a side order of existential dread 📚😅🌍
Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.
Commentary:
Well, if bootlicking could earn you awards, some folks would have golden tongues 🤣👢✨
Rock bottom ain’t even that bad of a place to be if you’re into collecting rocks.
Commentary:
Guess I'm just a geologist in disguise, taking "rock bottom" quite literally! 😂🪨📚
I keep saying, “It is what it is,” but what even is it?
Commentary:
Trying to solve the existential mystery of "it" like a detective who lost their magnifying glass 🔍🤔😂
I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text.
Commentary:
Still waiting for my certificate in Digital Hoarding 📷📥😂
Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're setting tickle boundaries and asserting dominance in public! 🚌😄👋