33 Funny figure quotes

• They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

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  4 weeks ago

  affection, doctor, figure, hold, hospital, humor, kiss, kisses, let, love, me, never, overnight, overnight stay, romance, stay, still, sweet, sweet kiss, want, why

• Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

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  4 weeks ago

  age, aging, aging humor, being, body, body noise, coming, figure, health, humor, life, noise, old, old age, senior, senior life, trying, why

• Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

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  4 weeks ago

  absent, absent father, actually, boss, daily, daily presence, day, distance, dynamics, emotional, emotional distance, emotional unavailability, emotionally, every, family, family dynamics, father, father figure, figure, final, humor, life, lol, met, parent-child, parent-child relationship, presence, relationship, sucks, unavailability, unavailable

• When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

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  4 weeks ago

  analogy, away, boat, columns, confusion, data, figure, humor, i, joke, just, math, row, rowing, rows, try, vs

• The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

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  4 weeks ago

  figure, health, humor, important, intelligence, irony, less, mental, mental health, self-awareness, smarter, think, thinking, wisdom

• Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

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  1 month ago

  birth, birth name, change, fact, figure, fun, fun fact, historical, historical figure, humor, irony, malcolm, Malcolm X, name, name change, Twitter, x

• Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

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  1 month ago

  cooking, creativity, figure, first person, historical, historical figure, humor, imagination, organization, person, recipe

• I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

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  1 month ago

  action, action figure, activity, board, board game, disappointment, expectation, figure, fun, fun activity, game, games, humor, i, me, play, puzzle, relationship, thought, wanted

• You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

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  1 month ago

  confusion, fear, figure, garage, get out, humor, i, me, navigation, parking, parking garage, scare, wit

• Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

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  1 month ago

  challenge, communication, figure, fun, me, mystery, opening, relationship, trying

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