23 Funny five quotes

Trending Funny Five Quotes 🔥

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.
Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.
Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.
Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.
My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

More funny five quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Commentary:
"Having Taylor Swift as your alarm clock is like a musical game of 'Beat the Clock'! 🕑🎶 No snooze button can save you from that kind of motivation! 😂 #EarlyBirdGetsTheWorm"
5 months ago
Share →: Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Commentary:
"Embarking on a jog only to realize your body is staging a rebellion… Classic case of fitness amnesia! 🏃🤦‍♂️ #OutOfShapeStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Commentary:
"Talk about tough luck! Five mass extinctions survived, only to meet a furry fashion critic with killer instincts 🦁🎄 #ThanksADecorativeHouseCat"
5 months ago
Share →: The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Commentary:
"Ah, Monday to Friday – the struggle is real! It's like a rollercoaster ride with no safety bars 🎢 Hang in there, weekend warriors! The joy of Saturday is just around the corner 🎉💪 #WeekendVibes"
5 months ago
Share →: Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Commentary:
"Trying to navigate through life like… 🤷‍♂️🌍 Seriously, who can predict the future when Google Maps can't even locate my current position! 😂 #lostinspacetime"
5 months ago
Share →: A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Commentary:
"Let us all bow our heads and observe a moment of silence for the fleeting presence of that paycheck in the bank account – gone too soon, like a shooting star that vanished into the financial abyss 🌠💸💨 #BlinkAndYouMissIt"
5 months ago
Share →: If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Commentary:
"Patience is a virtue… that I don't have time for! ⏳⌛️ Don't make me wait longer than it takes to microwave popcorn for the dramatic conclusion! 🍿😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Commentary:
"Who knew that feigning ignorance could be a genius strategy? 🤓 Just pretend you've misplaced your intelligence for a few moments and watch the workload magically evaporate! 😜✨"
5 months ago
Share →: Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Commentary:
"Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical, sipping a margarita on a beach somewhere 🍹☀️🌴 #LifeGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Commentary:
"Five years strong in the art of procrastination and gym avoidance 🏋️‍♂️😂 Here's to another year of promising to start tomorrow! #fitnessgoals #gymlife"