Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I’m sick of living through history!

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,331

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Spotted on YouTube:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Going viral on Telegram:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Trending via Twitch:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Spotted on Discord:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Shared recently on Slack:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Live now on Facebook:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Funny flipping quotes

Funny flipping quotes bring a hilarious twist to everyday moments, flipping the script with wit and charm 😂✨ Whether you’re flipping pancakes, moods, or just life itself, these playful sayings add a sprinkle of laughter and good vibes 🍳😄 Ready to flip your day around? Let’s dive into some chuckle-worthy gems that’ll have you laughing out loud in no time! 🎉🤣

New funny flipping quotes 👇

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

2 months ago

daily, daily life, determination, drive, driveway, family, flipping, humor, i, life, patience, perseverance, pull, radio, radio station, relationship, station, stations, still, through, wife, wish
Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

3 months ago

activity, circle, exercise, flipping, gasp, gesture, humor, me, outdoor, outdoor activity, running, sarcasm, track, vultures
But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

3 months ago

flipping, humor, i, irony, me, people, tinted, tinted window, visibility, window, Windows

All funny flipping quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

15 shares on Instagram this month:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

British people be like “YouChube.”

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

39 shares on Discord this month:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

63 shares on X this month:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,531

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Situationship where the situation is being madly in love with each other.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Breaking via Threads:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Spotted on Discord:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Going viral on Discord:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Just shared via Messenger:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Going viral on Discord:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

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