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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Going viral on WeChat:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Just shared via Slack:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Just landed via Pinterest:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Checking a selfie only to find there’s a demon in the reflection behind you, and it looks significantly healthier than you.

Broadcasted on X:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Breaking via Threads:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Funny hang up quotes

Funny hang up quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor when ending a call 📞😂 Whether you want to lighten the mood or leave them laughing, these witty lines bring a playful twist to hanging up 🎉😜 Say goodbye with a grin and turn every phone hang-up into a memorable moment! 📱✨

New funny hang up quotes 👇

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

2 days ago

annoyance, bothering, call, customer, customer service, hang, hang up, hold, hold music, music, phone, phone call, purpose, quality, repetition, repetitive, service, sound, sound quality, stop
Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

1 week ago

battery, call, conversation, every, excuse, hang, hang up, humor, phone, phone call, start, trick, want, whenever
Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

2 weeks ago

advice, communication, hang, hang up, humor, important, insult, note, self

All funny hang up quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Facebook this month:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

95 shares on Telegram this month:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

84 shares on Discord this month:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,367

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Making waves on Slack:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Just shared via Messenger:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Just shared via Instagram:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Spotted on Instagram:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

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