Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Jan 7, 2026

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Going viral on WeChat:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Trending via YouTube:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Spotted on Discord:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Spotted on Facebook:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Trending via Instagram:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Live now on Pinterest:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Breaking via Twitch:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Live now on Facebook:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Trending via Snapchat:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Funny hang up quotes

Funny hang up quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor when ending a call 📞😂 Whether you want to lighten the mood or leave them laughing, these witty lines bring a playful twist to hanging up 🎉😜 Say goodbye with a grin and turn every phone hang-up into a memorable moment! 📱✨

New funny hang up quotes 👇

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, bothering, call, customer, customer service, hang, hang up, hold, hold music, music, phone, phone call, purpose, quality, repetition, repetitive, service, sound, sound quality, stop

Someone from 🇸🇷 has recently copied this quote.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month.
Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

0

2 months ago

battery, call, conversation, every, excuse, hang, hang up, humor, phone, phone call, start, trick, want, whenever

Someone from 🇮🇪 has recently copied this quote.

116 shares on Instagram this month.
Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

0

2 months ago

advice, communication, hang, hang up, humor, important, insult, note, self

Someone from 🇬🇭 has recently copied this quote.

21 shares on Reddit this month.

All funny hang up quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Telegram this month:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

80 shares on Discord this month:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

46 shares on X this month:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

10 shares on Slack this month:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,279

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Just landed via Reddit:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

Going viral on X:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Breaking via Reddit:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Going viral on Messenger:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Live now on Pinterest:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Just landed via Facebook:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Just landed via Discord:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

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