3552 Funny i quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

  Commentary:
  🤷‍♂️ When "ew no" meets the professional world, things can get a little tricky! 🙈 Apparently, not all bosses speak the language of "ew no" fluently. Time to brush up on those communication skills, or just stick to the good ol' eye roll and heavy sigh combo. 😉 #ProfessionalCommunicationFail

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a reason to eat cake? 🎂 Life is too short to wait for birthdays! Go ahead, treat yourself and celebrate like it's somebody's birthday EVERY day! 🎉🍰 #CakeForEveryOccasion"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

  Commentary:
  "Reading nutrition labels is like embarking on a guessing game, but wouldn't it be fun to have a 'What if I ate the whole thing' section? 🤔🍔🍟 Imagine the shock on our faces when we realize the whole bag of chips was meant to serve more than just a quick snack break! 😂 #SurpriseCalories"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic Monday morning motto! 😴💤 Who needs coffee when you can just hibernate like a bear for a few days? 🐻 Just make sure to set an alarm for 72 hours later! ⏰😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs beauty sleep when you can have a full-on beauty hibernation? 💤🚮 #SleepingBeautyGoneWrong"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

  Commentary:
  🤷‍♂️ "I don't get mad, I get impressed with life's consistency in testing my patience. It's like a daily pop quiz I never asked for, but hey, let's roll with it. Bring it on, universe! 🙄"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds like you've mastered the art of tiredness – retired today, re-tired tomorrow! 😂💤"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

  Commentary:
  "Me: *trying to look cute* 😘

  My man: *staring intensifies* 😳

  Inner me: *panicking* 😬

  Reality check: *It's the love gaze or the 'did I leave the stove on?' gaze?* 🤔😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal mystery of sunglasses: keeping your intentions hidden behind those tinted lenses 😎 Are we making eye contact, or am I just admiring the view? It's a true game of peek-a-boo for the fashionably ambiguous 🕶️🍑 #ShadyMoves"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

  Commentary:
  Well, that would be quite the starch-tacular challenge! 🏊‍♂️ Just imagine the creamy strokes and gravy turns you'd have to master. 💪 Swim-a-licious or mash madness, you decide! 🥔 #SpudtasticAdventure

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