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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Making waves on Snapchat:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Shared recently on Instagram:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Just landed via Reddit:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Trending via Reddit:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Just landed via Threads:

Self-cleaning conscience.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Making waves on Telegram:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Trending via Threads:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Just landed via Messenger:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Reported on Slack:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Reported on Reddit:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

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