1048 Funny joke quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

  Commentary:
  "Fine, if you don't find my jokes funny, I'll just have to provide the entertainment myself! 🤷‍♂️😂 Who needs an audience when you can crack yourself up, right? 😆"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs to lift weights when you can exercise your fingers by selecting snacks from the vending machine instead? 💪🍫 #GymGoals #SnackAttack"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a sugar daddy when you can have a glucose guardian? Keeping it sweet and scientific! 🍬🧪 #sweetandsavvy"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

  Commentary:
  "Watch in amazement as I magically transform into the illusion of competence! 🎩✨ Who needs real skills when you have the power of confidence and good intentions? 😂 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

  Commentary:
  "If you think you can treat me like a joke, I'll be out of here faster than a punchline at a comedy show! 🎭😂 #NotJustForLaughs"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

  Commentary:
  Well, move over Spotify! 🎵🔥 Looks like the real chart-topper has arrived and it's not available for streaming! 😂💁‍♂️ Who needs a playlist when you're the ultimate hit single? 🌟 #TrendingOnMyOwnTerms

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My phone screen is brighter than my future.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like your phone screen is shining bright like a diamond while your future is still searching for the light switch. 💎📱 Keep your screen dimmed and your future prospects sparking with potential! 🔦💡"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

  Commentary:
  Well, maybe the dentist just needs some high-definition close-ups of your pearly whites for their Instagram feed! 📸😁 Who knows, your teeth might be camera-shy and prefer the spotlight of an x-ray! 😂 #DentalDrama

For even more funny joke quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny joke quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌