1198 Funny joke quotes

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  6 months ago

  Share →: The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

  Commentary:
  "Well, at least you got your cardio in! 🏃‍♂️💸 Who knew financial struggles could double as a workout plan? 💪😅"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry, I'm so broke that I can't even afford to pay attention…I guess my attention span is on a budget now! 🤑💸 #BillsGotMeStrapped"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the universe is mostly made up of morons 😜🌌 Better watch out for those cosmic clowns!

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the classic tale of unrequited love between a person and a gym – the treadmill of heartbreak 💔. Sometimes, no matter how many reps you do, the gym still wants some space. Time to find a new workout partner, maybe yoga or pilates will be a better match! 🧘‍♂️💪 #GymBreakup #SweatingItOut

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone's cholesterol level is on a first-name basis with comfort food! 🧀🌭 Time to say goodbye to those cheese bratwursts and hello to some leafy greens! Your heart will thank you later! ❤️

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that smooth legs could double up as a diet plan! 😂🦵 Say goodbye to the gym and hello to silky smoothness! 🏋️‍♀️💨 #LegDayGoals"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

  Commentary:
  "Disturb my beauty sleep, and you may find yourself gasping for air 😴💢💨 Sweet dreams, or should I say, be prepared for some hostile night vibes! 😂💤 #NoSleepNoMercy"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

  Commentary:
  "Ah, nothing says 'romance' quite like plotting together for a staged mishap! 💔😂 Who knew mischief could be so enticing? #LoveAtFirstConspiracy"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I embarrass myself in front of myself.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic case of self-embarrassment – when you outdo yourself in awkwardness! 🙈😅 Who needs an audience when you can entertain yourself with cringe-worthy moments, right?"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

  Commentary:
  Oh, fangs for sharing your biting opinion! 🧛🏻‍♂️ Looks like you're not a fanpire of vampires… they can be quite draining, can't they? 💉🦇 But hey, at least they always leave their mark! 😆 #VampirePuns

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