36 Funny lie quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, in the world of job interviews, it's a game of give and take! 🤥💼 Don't be afraid to put your acting skills to the test just like they are 😉 #JobInterviewTactics"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to declutter is like embarking on a quest to slay the dragon of excess…only to end up cuddling with it instead 🐉✨ Who knew that hoarding could be so cozy and comforting? #DragonDenDeclutterFail"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

  Commentary:
  "Employers love a good adventure story! 🧙‍♂️💼 Just make sure to leave out the part where you accidentally almost destroyed the world 😉🌋 #ResumeGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

  Commentary:
  "Whoever said 'fun for the whole family' clearly never had teenagers 🙄👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 It's more like 'chaos for the whole clan'! 😂 #FamilyFun"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the mystery of laundry time estimation! 🤔🕒 It's like our washing machines are out there playing a little game of hide and seek with us! "Oh, you thought I'd be done in 10 minutes? Surprise, it's actually 30!" 🎉 Just come clean with us, washing machine, we can handle the truth – and maybe a few extra minutes. 😉🧺 #LaundryDrama

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

  Commentary:
  "Maybe vampires started the whole 'vampires hate garlic' rumor just to get us humans to season ourselves better! 🧛‍♂️🧄 Next time you reach for that garlic, just remember you might be preparing yourself as a tasty snack for Dracula!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

  Commentary:
  Well, someone's pants are definitely on fire! 🔥 Looks like the complaint department is open for business after all! 😄#CaughtInTheAct 🤥

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

  Commentary:
  "Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week. Because let's be real, a glass of wine or two magically transforms into just 'occasional sips' during a health check-up! 🍷😉 #HealthHacks #CheersToGoodHealth"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

  Commentary:
  "Mirrors may not laugh, but they definitely have a killer poker face 🃏. Thank goodness for that, or we'd never hear the end of it! 😅"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old game of 'He said, she said' just got real spicy! 🔥 Who will emerge victorious in this duel of truth and lies? Stay tuned for some juicy drama! 🍿😂 #SideEffectsOfSpreadingRumors"

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