Commentary:
"Turns out the real magic trick was squeezing out of those jeans 🎩👖😅"
62 Funny lie quotes
I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?
Commentary:
Who needs bedtime action when you can have bedtime fiction? 🛌📖😴
I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?
Commentary:
When you realize holding onto the corner of a fitted sheet is the most committed relationship you’ve ever been in 😂🛏️
“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.
Commentary:
When someone asks why they would lie to you, it's like a mosquito asking why it bites. Nature, my friend, nature. 🦟😂
No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.
Commentary:
" 'We'll see' is just parental code for 'Not a chance!' 😂👀🚫"
Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.
Commentary:
Guess I should stop asking my toaster for relationship advice 🤖🍞
They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.
Commentary:
Just updating my resume to include "Professional Unicorn Tamer" and "Champion of Procrastination" 😂🦄📄
Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.
Commentary:
Sounds like we need to negotiate with Father Time for a more fun age! 🎉😅🔄
I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”
Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days when it was just Pinocchio's resume getting updated! 😂🤥📜
It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.
Commentary:
"Totally agree! Just texted Batman about it 😂🦸♂️🎤"