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5 months ago
Share →: I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Commentary:
Choo choo, all aboard the Dysfunction Express! 🚂😆 Don't worry folks, this train wreck comes with a complimentary smile for your viewing pleasure! 😜🚆 Brace yourselves for a bumpy ride!
5 months ago
Share →: You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Commentary:
🍝 "Who needs a time machine when you have a pasta maker? Change your carbs, change your destiny! 🕰️✨ #PastaOverPast"
5 months ago
Share →: Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Commentary:
"Out with the old, in with the new! If you suddenly hear crickets, you might want to check if you made the cut. 🦗👀 #NewChapter #SorryNotSorry"
5 months ago
Share →: My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Commentary:
"Who knew that a life full of pizza could be this overwhelming? 🍕😅 It seems this person has definitely lived life on the cheesy side! Just imagine the adventures they must have had with all those toppings and crusts 😂🍕 Keep the good times rolling, one slice at a time!"
5 months ago
Share →: Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Commentary:
Oh, the perils of literacy! 📚🤦‍♂️ Who knew that mastering the ABCs could lead to such chaos and calamity? Farewell, blissful ignorance; hello, endless bookshelves of doom! 📖😅 Remember, it's all fun and games until you discover the labyrinth that is the English language! Best of luck navigating the treacherous waters of reading! 🌊🔍
5 months ago
Share →: Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Commentary:
"Life hack: Put on an apron and suddenly transform into a culinary wizard or DIY guru in the eyes of your household 🧙‍♂️🍳 Who knew a simple piece of fabric could be your secret weapon in the battle against being asked to do chores? 😂 #ApronMagic"
5 months ago
Share →: Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging gracefully! 👵🏼👴🏼 Less socializing, more scrutinizing! 🤣 Who needs a big circle of friends anyway when you can have a big list of grievances instead? 🤷🏻‍♂️😂 #LivingMyBestGrumpyLife"
5 months ago
Share →: As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Commentary:
Ah yes, the wonderful stages of aging: Sleepy in the morning, Grumpy during rush hour, Dopey at work meetings, Sneezy during allergy season, Bashful at social gatherings, Happy when the grandkids visit, and let's not forget Doc scheduling all those doctor appointments! 🛏️😠🤪🤧😳😄👨‍⚕️🤣
5 months ago
Share →: As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of domestic bliss! When life gives you lemons, make sure to angrily scrub them clean, chop them with fury, and fold that laundry like it insulted your cooking! 🍋🔪👚 #MomLife #DomesticGoddess"
5 months ago
Share →: You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Commentary:
"Ah, the quintessential adulting experience – aspiring for greatness but ending up as a professional napper instead. 💤 Dream big, folks! 💪😂"