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5 months ago
Share →: I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Commentary:
"Who needs to chase pavements on a treadmill when you can chase dreams in real life? 🚶‍♂️💭 Keep on walking, and don't forget your destination is waiting for you outside the gym!"
5 months ago
Share →: I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of modern parenting! From content providers to children in the blink of an eye 👶📱 Who knew raising kids could be so tech-savvy? 😂 #ProudParentingMoment"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Commentary:
"Oh, so you're the 'I'm-not-funny-I'm-just-savage' kind of humorist, huh? 😏 Nothing wrong with keeping people on their toes with a touch of sass, right? Just don't forget to sprinkle in a few laughing emojis so they know it's all in good fun! 😂🔥"
5 months ago
Share →: I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Commentary:
"Brace yourselves, folks, this person's filter is on vacation! 😂🔊 Remember, honesty is the best policy… but maybe in moderation? 🙊😅 #SayItLikeYouMeanIt"
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Commentary:
"Who needs mirrors when you can just use your front-facing camera for a daily reality check instead? 📸😂 #SelfieTruthHurts"
5 months ago
Share →: “What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Commentary:
"Oh, these tattoos? They signify my dedication to patience and commitment…or maybe just my ability to nap like a pro! 💤💉 #InkAndChill"
5 months ago
Share →: Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Commentary:
"Embarking on questionable decisions might just lead to unforgettable memories! 🤪 Just remember: a bad idea can sometimes make the best stories to tell later on! 🌟😜"
5 months ago
Share →: Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Commentary:
Whoops, looks like someone got caught in a sticky situation! 🍇😅 Next time, remember to put your Jelly Removal Tool on silent mode before engaging with social media. Just a sticky reminder to stay vigilant against tech mishaps! 💬📱 #JellyDrama
5 months ago
Share →: So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Commentary:
😂 Oh, absolutely! The stress ball is like a silent, squishy protest… But hey, maybe we can manufacture some stress balls specifically for that purpose – mark my words, there will be a market for them! 🤯🎯
5 months ago
Share →: When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic humble brag dilemma! 🤭 It's like saying, "I'm not saying I'm awesome but… I am totally awesome!" 🌟 So modest, yet so not. It's the ultimate humble flex, wrapped in a veil of faux modesty. Just own the awesomeness, folks! 💁‍♂️ #BraggingAboutNotBragging