16 Funny microwave quotes

• I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

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  3 days ago

  5, again, am, appearance, dating, desperate, desperation, dinner, enough, humor, i, identify, identity, just, me, microwave, microwave dinner, minutes, nothing, photos, ready, ready in 5 minutes, satisfaction, sexual, sexual identity, want

• The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

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  7 days ago

  after, appliance, Christmas, cooking, danger, dangerous, day, holiday, microwave, morning

• I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

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  2 months ago

  done, exercise, food, humor, i, least, microwave, step, steps, waiting

• Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

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  2 months ago

  annoyance, appliance, beep, feature, forever, kitchen, microwave, sound, timer

• Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

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  2 months ago

  dishwasher, everyday, everyday life, gift, humor, kitchen, life, microwave, moment, mug, safety, sarcasm, silence

• I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

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  2 months ago

  humor, i, internet, love, microwave, normal, personality, quirky, raised, social, technology, unfortunately, upbringing

• There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

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  2 months ago

  26, bigger, cooking, day, December, December 26, food, holiday, humor, microwave, Olympics

• Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

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  2 months ago

  cooking, everyday, everyday life, everyone, expectations, failure, genius, humor, life, microwave, reality, someone, technology, try

• Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

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  2 months ago

  change, clock, domestic, domestic life, ever, form, humor, kitchen, laziness, life, microwave, morning, robe, Sunday, Sunday morning, time, time travel, travel

• I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

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  2 months ago

  break, break in, going, house, humor, little, microwave, plate, steal, theft, thing, wheels

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