278 Funny never quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

  Commentary:
  "Learning from other people's mistakes? Nah, not my style. Giant wooden horse on my doorstep seems totally legit though. 🏛️🐴🏠 #TrojanHorse #OopsIDidItAgain"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

  Commentary:
  "Give me cake, or give me a fork! 🍰🍴 Who can resist the sweet temptation of a delicious slice? Indulging in cake is always a piece of cake! 😉"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the mystery of laundry time estimation! 🤔🕒 It's like our washing machines are out there playing a little game of hide and seek with us! "Oh, you thought I'd be done in 10 minutes? Surprise, it's actually 30!" 🎉 Just come clean with us, washing machine, we can handle the truth – and maybe a few extra minutes. 😉🧺 #LaundryDrama

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

  Commentary:
  "Reading footnotes: where authors spill the tea ☕️ on who really grinds their gears! Remember, behind every footnote is a story of enemies and vendettas! 📚🔍 #TheRealDramaInTheFootnotes"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

  Commentary:
  Oh, the classic IT mystery – the thrill of the unknown! 🤔💻 It's like discovering a rare unicorn in the digital realm! 🦄 Just remember, sometimes being unique can be a good thing… unless you're talking about tech issues! 😂 #ITadventures

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

  Commentary:
  "Remembering where you came from is not just about nostalgia, it's also a great way to find those elusive keys! 🗝️🤔 Who knew your origins were also the key to your belongings?"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

  Commentary:
  "Throwing a Great Gatsby themed party without finishing the book is like hosting a Harry Potter night without knowing who Voldemort is 😆📚 It's all glitz and glam until someone realizes they missed the memo on Gatsby's tragic demise! 🎉 #PartyFail"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

  Commentary:
  "Story of every hopeless romantic's life: Having a crush on someone who's as out of reach as WiFi on a deserted island 🤦‍♂️💔 Better luck next time, buddy! Maybe she'll break up with her boyfriend, or he'll turn out to be her annoying younger brother in disguise 🙈😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

  Commentary:
  "Pro Tip: Unless you want your snow angel to have a 'special' aroma… 🐶❄️ Just saying! 😂 #NotTheBestIdea"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

  Commentary:
  "Putting up a lost dog poster? Nah, I'd rather keep my fumbles on the down low, thank you very much! 🐶🤷‍♂️ #NotLettingItOut"

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