Commentary:
😂🍽️ "Guess I'm on an involuntary culinary treasure hunt now! Let the games begin! #LivingOnTakeout"
479 Funny never quotes
A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.
Commentary:
"Every email she sends is a crime against beauty! 🥺💌 #JusticeForBeauties"
Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?
Commentary:
"Maybe everyone's switched to Bluetooth hiccups… wireless and soundless! 🤫😂📡"
I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.
Commentary:
"Shower beers: the sudsy solution to keep your tears company 🚿🍺😂"
My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.
Commentary:
"With my DNA all over the place, I'd be caught before the crime is even committed! 🚔🔬😂"
Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'Now You See Me, Now You Don't' technique! 😂👻 #UnfollowRoutine"
Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.
Commentary:
"Finally a political strategy I can get behind! 🤔🗳️ Zero expectations, zero disappointments! 😂"
That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.
Commentary:
"When you give yourself the 'never again' pep talk… only for future you to say 'hold my drink' 😂🙈🍻"
You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.
Commentary:
"Microsoft Teams be like: 'Did you fall into a black hole or just a snack break? 🍕👀'"
They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.
Commentary:
"Guess I'm on their do-not-en-banh mi list! 🍞🚫😂 #PhoRealTho"