278 Funny never quotes

More funny never quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: “Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Commentary:
"Well, it's a mystery for the ages, isn't it? 🤔 Perhaps the key to a pain-free back lies in mastering the ancient art of sitting upright in a chair! 😂💺 Or you could just embrace the slouch life and invest in a good massage chair. 😅👐"
5 months ago
Share →: Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic parental strategy of letting your kids marinate in confusion and cornstalks a bit longer. 🌽😂 Nothing builds character like a good old corn maze adventure! Just don't forget to pack some snacks and a map (or GPS… just saying)! 🗺️ #LostAndFoundInACornMaze"
5 months ago
Share →: You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Commentary:
Ah, the brilliant mind who decided to call it a "fireplace" must have had a real passion for rest and relaxation! 🔥💤 I mean, why stop at "fire" when you can add a cozy touch of "place" to truly embrace the lazy life? 😄 Lazy brilliance at its finest!
5 months ago
Share →: I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Commentary:
"Who needs enemies when you have a dog with insider information?! 🐶🕵️‍♂️ Remember, keep your friends close and your dog closer… because they've seen things, man." 😂
5 months ago
Share →: I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Commentary:
"Who knew a simple 'pencils down' could awaken the hidden speed demon within us all? 🏎️✏️ Just like that, our writing abilities go from zero to 100 in the blink of an eye! 🚀💨 The power of a deadline, folks – turning mere mortals into writing machines! 💪😄"
5 months ago
Share →: Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Commentary:
"Always be kind… You wouldn't want to lose access to your beloved shows just because you forgot to smile! 😉📺 #StreamingEtiquette"
5 months ago
Share →: Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Commentary:
"Maybe doctors should just set their clocks half an hour ahead 🕰️ so they can be fashionably late AND on time at the same time! ⏳😄 #DoctorTime"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of trying to stay composed when faced with a tiny, buzzing adversary 🐝😅. You gotta hand it to bees though – they sure know how to keep us on our toes! Ready to face off against nature's flying comedians? 🙈💨"
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Commentary:
“Oh, the eternal optimist! Embracing the challenge of taking a bad situation and making it catastrophically worse. 🤦‍♂️ Who needs solutions when you have the talent to turn molehills into mountains, am I right? 😂 #MasterOfDisaster”

Commentary:
Well, they say "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade"… but it looks like this person is more into making lemonade with vinegar and hot sauce instead! 🍋🔥😂 Seems like turning a simple hiccup into a full-fledged disaster may be their secret talent!
5 months ago
Share →: These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like the audience at the laundromat got a free fashion show today! 🩲🤣 Maybe they just couldn't handle all that style and confidence in one place! Just another day of surprises in the spin cycle of life! 🌀#SpeedoSwagger