Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,523

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Breaking via X:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Making waves on YouTube:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Just landed via X:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Going bananas on Slack:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

Making waves on Instagram:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

12 Funny perfume quotes

Funny perfume quotes bring a splash of laughter to the world of scents 🌸✨ Whether you’re a fragrance fanatic or just love a good chuckle, these witty lines capture the quirky side of our favorite aromas 🤪💐 Get ready to sniff out some humor and brighten your day with a playful twist on perfume passion! 😂🌺

New funny perfume quotes 👇

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

0

2 months ago

care, deodorant, humor, hygiene, key, perfume, personal, personal care, shower, wordplay
Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

0

2 months ago

body, corporate, expensive, feels, fragrance, full, humor, office, perfume, scent, setting, should, under, waste, weight, work
Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

0

2 months ago

accessory, beauty, care, daily, daily routine, fashion, feeling, forgetting, humor, jewelry, literally, perfume, personal, personal care, put, routine, worst
I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

0

2 months ago

app, fragrance, humor, i, music, music app, perfume, scent, Shazam, technology, wish
Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

0

2 months ago

bakery, experience, food, humor, nice, perfume, scent, vanilla, walking
Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

0

2 months ago

accessory, canary, exaggeration, fragrance, humor, invisible, invisible accessory, kill, perfume, room, scent
I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

0

2 months ago

30, advertising, being, commercial, commercials, creativity, humor, i, insane, insanity, just, mind, perception, perfume, respect, seconds, show, smell
If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

0

2 months ago

attitude, audacity, days, generation, humor, kids, perfume, sarcasm, youth
I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

0

2 months ago

compliment, confidence, delicious, girl, humor, i, love, myself, perfume, self-love, smell
Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

0

4 months ago

gift, gift idea, gifting, humor, idea, jewelry, me, never, perfume, present, things, wrong

For even more funny perfume quotes, hit next 👇

All funny perfume quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Slack this month:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

46 shares on Slack this month:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

99 shares on Threads this month:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

22 shares on Discord this month:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,461

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I have a yearning disability.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Just landed via Twitch:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Just landed via Telegram:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Shared recently on Threads:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Going viral on Facebook:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Going bananas on WeChat:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴