25 Funny piece quotes

• The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

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  2 months ago

  autocorrect, death, died, dude, humor, joke, piece, restaurant, technology, wordplay

• Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

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  2 months ago

  crumbled, crumbled paper, desk, humor, i, know, messy, messy desk, need, paper, piece, procrastination, relatable, school, table, teen, teens, week

• I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

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  2 months ago

  candy, family, fight, floor, front, humor, husband, i, just, kids, parenting, pay, piece, throw, UFC, understand

• Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

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  2 months ago

  enthusiast, frustration, gun, house, humor, i, keep, next, noise, only, piece, printer, shoot, smart, smart house, tech, tech enthusiast, tech worker, technology, worker

• My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

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  2 months ago

  American, chicken nuggets, critique, education, food, humor, i, nuggets, opinion, order, piece, system, ten, ten piece

• Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

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  2 months ago

  adult, adults, anything, important, jail, just, little, name, paper, piece, pinky, pinky promise, promise, send, serious, signature, silly, wrong

• I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

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  2 months ago

  died, dream, humor, i, me, night, piece, sleep, stiff, woke

• I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

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  2 months ago

  amazing, downhill, events, humor, i, love, Olympic, piece, pieces, sliding, sport, winter, Winter Olympic, winter sport, wood

• Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

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  2 months ago

  advice, advisor, budgeting, cost, enough, finance, financial, financial advisor, hiring, humor, i, money, paying, personal, personal finance, piece

• Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

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  2 months ago

  funny observation, information, information overload, media, news, observation, overload, piece, piece together, posts, social, social media, today’s, today’s news, together, trying

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