Funny possession quotes

• There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

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  1 week ago

  available, family, home, house, humor, mom, need, possession, rule, something, yours

• Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

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  2 months ago

  demon, everyone, got, hair, humor, joke, OMG, once, possessed, possession, prank, something, supernatural, transformation

• Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

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  2 months ago

  appearance, cat, devil, hairless, hairless cat, humor, joke, possession

• Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

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  2 months ago

  building, built, came, construction, exorcist, house, humor, just, poorly, poorly built, possession

• If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

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  2 months ago

  chaos, demon, else, even, everything, going, going on, humor, i, notice, possession

• As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

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  2 months ago

  demon, exorcist, hear, humor, i, joke, Ka-Ching, money, new, paranormal, poor, possession, soul, spirituality, think, whenever

• My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

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  2 months ago

  age, ages, belief, context, demon, humor, middle, middle age, people, possession, reaction, reason, sneeze

• What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

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  2 months ago

  childhood, family, having, humor, idea, kids, lot, parenting, possession, surprise, teeth

• If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

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  5 months ago

  attitude, back, demon, ever, humor, ID, just, me, possessed, possession, problem, sarcasm, say, sit, wit

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