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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,672

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Seen just now on Slack:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Just landed via Reddit:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Trending via Telegram:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Just shared via Reddit:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Trending via Messenger:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Making waves on Discord:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Just shared via Discord:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

12 Funny real life quotes

Funny real life quotes bring laughter 😂 and a fresh twist to everyday moments 🌟. They capture those quirky, unexpected truths that make life so entertaining 🤪. Whether you need a mood boost or just a clever way to see the world, these gems 💎 will have you smiling in no time! Ready to dive into some hilarious, relatable wisdom? Let’s lighten up your day with a dose of humor! 😄✨

New funny real life quotes 👇

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

0

2 months ago

boys, cheating, disgusting, dog, dogs, humor, island, life, love, Love Island, me, obsession, real, real life, women
It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

0

2 months ago

comparison, compliments, convinced, crazy, culture, enough, good, imagine, life, likes, media, online, online culture, people, real, real life, self-esteem, self-worth, social, social comparison, social media, telling, us, validation, virtual, virtual validation
People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

0

2 months ago

annoy, humor, i, interaction, life, me, online, people, real, real life, sarcasm, social, social interaction
Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

0

2 months ago

comparison, funny observation, humor, irony, life, life comparison, media, miss, miss out, observation, real, real life, saying, seen, social, social media, someone
You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

0

2 months ago

able, annoying, annoying coworker, booping, coworker, hours, humor, life, mute, nose, real, real life, should, silence, someone, workplace
Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

0

2 months ago

delete, exactly, humor, i, life, looks, me, photo, real, real life, self-image
Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

0

2 months ago

anything, best, best shot, bot, creativity, give, humor, ID, ignore, instructions, life, me, onions, poem, real, real life, saying, shot, someone, told, whatever
As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

0

2 months ago

always, dad, family, family fun, fun, humor, kids, lessons, life, life lessons, parenting, preparation, prepared, real, real life, trolling, want
Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

0

2 months ago

30, comparison, elevator, expectation, humor, life, minutes, movy, real, real life, reality, ride, time
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

0

2 months ago

algebra, assurance, humor, i, irony, life, real, real life, thing

For even more funny real life quotes, hit next 👇

All funny real life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

39 shares on X this month:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

73 shares on Discord this month:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,704

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Just shared via Threads:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Trending via Messenger:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Freshly posted on X:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

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