Funny quotes right

124 Funny right quotes

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

3 days ago

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

2 weeks ago

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

2 weeks ago

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

2 weeks ago

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

2 weeks ago

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

3 weeks ago

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

1 month ago

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

1 month ago

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

1 month ago

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

1 month ago

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

1 month ago

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

1 month ago

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

1 month ago

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

1 month ago

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

1 month ago

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

1 month ago

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

1 month ago

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

1 month ago

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

1 month ago

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

1 month ago

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

2 months ago

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

2 months ago

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

2 months ago

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

2 months ago

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

2 months ago

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

2 months ago

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

2 months ago

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

2 months ago

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

2 months ago

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

2 months ago