Funny quotes right

119 Funny right quotes

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Funny Quotes Mar 31, 2025

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Funny Quotes Mar 20, 2025

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Funny Quotes Mar 20, 2025

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Funny Quotes Mar 19, 2025

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Funny Quotes Mar 19, 2025

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Funny Quotes Mar 15, 2025

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Funny Quotes Mar 14, 2025

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Funny Quotes Mar 11, 2025

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Funny Quotes Mar 7, 2025

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Funny Quotes Mar 7, 2025

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Funny Quotes Feb 28, 2025

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Funny Quotes Feb 24, 2025

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Funny Quotes Feb 21, 2025

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025