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That's the secret contract: one snort equals a date! 😂🤝
259 Funny right quotes
Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?
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I feel this in my soul…and my untoned abs! 😂🔥🍔
Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.
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Sounds like you found the hidden level in the retail video game! 🎮😄🛒
After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.
Commentary:
Guess even Bigfoot couldn't handle the upgrade 📱👀🦶🌲 #5GProblems
You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?
Commentary:
Sounds like we need a nap and a lottery ticket! 😂🛌💸
Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.
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Guess I better start Googling 'how to be forever young' while I still remember how to use technology! 😅🕰️💻
Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.
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I’d let you in, but my imaginary friend insists on having the window seat! 😅🪑🤦♂️
Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.
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I spend so much time consulting my imaginary debate team that I've basically become a psychic 😂🔮🤔
Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.
Commentary:
Watch out, world, there's a pro in the car seat! 👶🚗😂
Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.
Commentary:
"Guess I'm the hot new snack in town! 🦟❤️🍽️"