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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,730

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Just shared via Facebook:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Trending via Telegram:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Just shared via TikTok:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Shared recently on WeChat:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

13 Funny sale quotes

Funny sale quotes bring a burst of laughter to your shopping spree 🛍️😂 Whether you’re hunting for deals or just love a clever pun, these witty sayings add extra fun to every discount 💸✨ Get ready to smile while you save and turn bargain hunting into a hilarious adventure! 🎉😎

New funny sale quotes 👇

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All funny sale quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Instagram this month:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

50 shares on X this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

19 shares on Threads this month:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,707

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

I totally understand those uncles and aunts who don’t attend gatherings.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Really hate when I’m watching a movie, and I can see that they are acting.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Seen just now on X:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Just landed via Threads:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Just shared via Twitch:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If I can’t wash dishes to your album, it ain’t that fire.

Just landed via Facebook:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

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