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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

It seems really unfair that my future depends on me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Just shared via Threads:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Making waves on Twitch:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Seen just now on Slack:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Live now on YouTube:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

13 Funny sale quotes

Funny sale quotes bring a burst of laughter to your shopping spree 🛍️😂 Whether you’re hunting for deals or just love a clever pun, these witty sayings add extra fun to every discount 💸✨ Get ready to smile while you save and turn bargain hunting into a hilarious adventure! 🎉😎

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All funny sale quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on X this month:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

15 shares on YouTube this month:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

61 shares on X this month:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

56 shares on TikTok this month:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

45 shares on Threads this month:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my type is a nice person.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,414

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Breaking via YouTube:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Making waves on Pinterest:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Spotted on YouTube:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Just shared via YouTube:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Just landed via Messenger:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Making waves on Reddit:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

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