Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Sane is boring.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,571

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Making waves on Discord:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Live now on Facebook:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Shared recently on Discord:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Going bananas on Twitch:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Just landed via Discord:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Going viral on Facebook:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Going viral on Messenger:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Funny scientist quotes

Funny scientist quotes bring a burst of brainy humor 🤓💥, mixing science with laughs that even Einstein would approve of! Whether you’re a lab rat 🧪 or just love clever wit, these quotes add a spark ⚡ to your day. Get ready to giggle while getting smart—because who says science can’t be fun? 🧬😂

New funny scientist quotes 👇

All funny scientist quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

57 shares on X this month:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

20 shares on Discord this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone is getting idioter.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

100 shares on Threads this month:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,558

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Spotted on YouTube:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Spotted on Reddit:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Just landed via WeChat:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Just landed via Twitch:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Just landed via YouTube:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

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