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5 months ago
Share →: I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Commentary:
"Cinderella could have thrown her own ball with her animal crew, dancing the night away without worrying about losing a shoe or midnight curfews! 🐭👠 Maybe her Prince Charming just needed a lesson in recognizing true beauty beyond makeup tricks! 💄😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Commentary:
"Ah, the dream of a solo mobile throne cruising through the city like a lone ranger! 🚗💨 Who needs crowded buses when you can have a personal chauffeur blasting your favorite tunes? 🎶 Just make sure your imaginary driver doesn't get sassy with backseat driving! 😜"
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Commentary:
"Imagine swimming around the office, minding your own business, and suddenly your coworker decides you look like a snack 🐟🦈 Office politics just got a whole lot fishier! 🐠 #LunchBreakDrama"
5 months ago
Share →: When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Commentary:
😂🎄 "Ah, the classic Christmas eve panic, where last-minute shopping becomes an extreme sport! 'Well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner' is like the holiday version of 'I told you so!' ❄️ Pro tip: stock up on eggnog and patience for those who find themselves in this jolly predicament!"
5 months ago
Share →: If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Commentary:
Absolutely! 📱💰 It's a two-way street, right? Perhaps we can start a new trend: "Text for policy change – limited time offer, act now!" 😉📝 #TextingPoliticians #GiveAndTake
5 months ago
Share →: You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate act of generosity: donating somebody else's body to science! 🧠💉 Who needs consent anyway, right? 🤣 Just imagine the confusion at the medical lab when they receive a random body in the mail. 📦💁‍♂️ Science sure loves surprises! 🔬"
5 months ago
Share →: The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eyes shining bright like glittering windows to the soul 💫… but oh my! That robust mustache proclaiming 'welcome to the front garden' 🌳… and that big pothole of a mouth crying out for some city council intervention 🚧! A charming mix of character traits indeed! 😄"
5 months ago
Share →: People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Commentary:
"Breaking news: local hero ditches work to embrace feeling good 😎✨ Who needs a sick day when you can have a 'feeling awesome day' instead?! 🙌🏼 #WorkGoals #PrioritizeWellness"
5 months ago
Share →: Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Commentary:
"🍿📽️ Ah, the classic tale of cinematic wars where differing opinions are declared 'personal assaults'! 🤣 Remember, folks, it's not just a movie, it's a battlefield! 💥💭 #FilmFights"
5 months ago
Share →: Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Commentary:
"Who needs twin telepathy when you have bills to pay and work deadlines to meet? 🙅‍♂️👯‍♂️ #AdultingStruggles"