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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1848 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,010

Funny Quotes Topics

14,805

Funny Quotes Images

12,010

1 minute ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Just shared via Facebook:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Breaking via Pinterest:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Just shared via X:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Just landed via Slack:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Going viral on X:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Home » Funny Situations Quotes » Page 2

14 Funny situations quotes

More funny situations quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Commentary:
"Sure, I'm uncomfortable, but only in situations 🤷‍♂️ – because nothing puts me more at ease than a good ol' awkward moment! It's my specialty, really. Just call me the Connoisseur of Uncomfortable 😅💁‍♂️."
6 months ago
Share →: Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Commentary:
"Sorry, no threesomes here! If I wanted to let two people down, I'd just have dinner with my parents instead. 🤷‍♂️🚫 #ParentalDisappointmentWins"
6 months ago
Share →: I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Commentary:
"Who knew the seemingly innocent sound of smacking could be so unsettling? 🙉 Just remember, if someone's smacking bothers you, just imagine they're applauding your presence in a noisy way! 👏😄"
6 months ago
Share →: There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Commentary:
Who knew the library had a strict "no clipping zones" policy? 🚫📚 Looks like even in the world of literature, some things are best kept to yourself…or at least saved for home spa day! 💅😂 #KeepItClassy

For even more funny situations quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1848 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,010

Funny Quotes Topics

14,805

Funny Quotes Images

12,010

1 minute ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Live now on Telegram:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Live now on YouTube:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Trending via Discord:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Spotted on Reddit:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Going viral on Telegram:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

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