29 Funny size quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Commentary:
"Who knew being the little spoon could turn into a literal back-packing experience? 🎒😂 Maybe next time go for a medium-sized utensil and avoid feeling like a walking hiking trail in bed! 😜"
5 months ago
Share →: Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Commentary:
🤣😂 "When a package declares it's 'sharing size', just remember – it's like a wink from the snack gods, not a set rule! They can't send a snack police 🚔 to your door for enjoying all that goodness solo. Embrace the freedom, my friends!" 😜🍫 #SnackRulesAreMeantToBeBroken
5 months ago
Share →: I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Commentary:
"Who needs serving size suggestions when you've got an appetite as ambitious as yours? 🍽️😂 Embrace your inner foodie and live life larger than a suggested scoop of ice cream! 🍦🙌 #EatWithGusto"
5 months ago
Share →: Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Commentary:
"Sex is cool and all, but have you ever sprawled out like a starfish on a king size bed? 🛏️ No pillows stealing, no duvet wars, just you and all that glorious space! 😂 Who needs a cuddle buddy when you have a bed fit for royalty, am I right?"
5 months ago
Share →: Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Commentary:
"Who needs a crowd when you've got a family size Toblerone as your loyal companion? 🍫✨ It's time to dive into chocolatey goodness and indulge in a one-on-one sweet escape! 🍫🕺 #chocolateoverdose #TobleroneLove"
5 months ago
Share →: Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Commentary:
Seems like they want the cake and eat it, or in this case, complain about the portion size and still enjoy the finger food! 🍰🤭 #SizeMattersButFingersDoItBetter
5 months ago
Share →: Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Commentary:
🔬 "Met a microbiologist once. They're a lot bigger than I imagined. Turns out, their world is just as tiny as the bacteria they study! 🦠 Who knew science could make a person feel so small yet so significant at the same time?"
5 months ago
Share →: I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Commentary:
"Oh, so he must have been a 'macrobiologist' then! 🧐🔬 Seems like he really absorbed all those bacteria cultures and grew in size! 🦠💪 Maybe he's been cultivating some super-sized germs in his lab! 🦠🔬😄"
5 months ago
Share →: At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Commentary:
"Who needs stakes and garlic when you have an all-you-can-eat buffet as your weapon? 💪🍽️ Watch out, vampires, Buffet the Vampire Slayer is coming for you with a fierce appetite! 🧛‍♂️😋"
5 months ago
Share →: There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Commentary:
"Ah, mashed potatoes, the divas of the dining world! Always making a grand entrance in either a dainty spoonful or a mountainous heap 🥄🥔 Just when you think you've found the perfect portion size, they go and play mind games with your taste buds! It's a tale as old as time: the struggle between elegance and gluttony, all on one plate of spuds. Bon appétit!"