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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

Funny stand-up quotes

Funny stand-up quotes are the perfect way to add a burst of laughter to your day πŸ˜‚πŸŽ€ Whether you need a quick mood boost or some witty words to share with friends, these gems from comedy stages will have you chuckling nonstop 🀣✨ Get ready to enjoy the clever, unexpected, and downright hilarious moments that only stand-up comedians can deliver! 🎭πŸ”₯

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

β€œStand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

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