27 Funny survival quotes

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Sorry I didn't respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don't even know where the little gummy bears live.

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

If you're lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025